When life presses pause
[ Petals and shedding # 12] What it feels like between two chapters when one dream ends, the next hasn’t begun and life???…
Do you know how it feels to be at a phase in your life when you feel worthless, when you feel you are not somewhere you imagined you would be…when, you were never prepared to face what was waiting Ahed of you….
When the Applause Ends….
The books are closed, the pens are still,
No hurried steps, no climbing hill.
The hall I left now fades from sight,
Yet something echoes through the night.
I chased a dream for many years,
Through silent doubts and hidden fears.
I reached the door I longed to see,
And found a strange new vacancy.
No bells now ring, no pages turn,
No urgent lesson left to learn.
Just me, the void, and the sky
A heart that asks, “What now?” and why.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
On June 29, I walked out of my final master’s examination.
For a few days, life felt lighter. There were no notes to revise, no deadlines to chase, and no alarm set for another exam. I had finally reached a milestone that had taken years of hard work, sleepless nights, self-doubt, and determination.
I had done it.
I celebrated the moment because I knew I had earned it.
But then something unexpected happened.
The excitement slowly faded, and in its place came an unfamiliar silence.
I woke up one morning and realized there was nowhere I had to rush. No chapter waiting to be revised. No assignment to complete. No examination standing between me and the future.
For years, my identity had been tied to being a student. Every day had a purpose. Every week had a destination. Then, almost overnight, that structure disappeared.
People often celebrate achievements, but very few talk about what comes after them. Sometimes success doesn’t arrive with endless happiness. Sometimes it leaves you standing in a quiet room, wondering what comes next.
My competitive examinations are still months away. My JRF result has been delayed, and there is nothing I can do except wait. Waiting is far more difficult than I imagined.
To make the most of this time, I started applying for remote jobs. I updated my resume, searched through job portals, wrote cover letters, and clicked “Submit” with hope every single time.
I have sent my resume to company after company. So far, every attempt has felt futile. Days pass. Weeks pass. Most applications receive no response at all. Not even a rejection email.
Just silence.
to read the full story click here
If you enjoyed my work BUY ME A COFFEE
For more such reads subscribe here:
consider becoming a member and join my mission:
my e-book for your journey of life:
THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!
Argh, yup. No rejection email is somehow worse than a rejection email. At least a NO is something to work with. But silence? It just sits there and does zilch useful.
I have felt this after every book I've finished writing.
I felt it after my daughter moved out.
I felt it when we moved into our house several years ago.
And here in midlife, there's a constant shift and change, mentally and emotionally.
A what now? Sometime a regret.
But everything that you dive into and give huge parts of yourself to will eventually have a moment of 'What do I do now that it's over?'